Abstract
When the speaker in Shakespeare's sonnets swears that his dark lady is fair, against what is self-evidently true, what sort of speech act is he performing? Though this is an act of swearing, and thus what J. L. Austin would call a "performative," his swearing also describes, or "constates" something about the dark lady, albeit falsely. In this article, I identify a form of speech act that both performs and constates, and which has performative force only because its description is dubious, or untrue.